The Misadventures of Miscommunications at TSA Screening

Miscommunication can generate ugliness like dominoes falling.

My day job involves traveling each week. I am labeled a business traveler, a road warrior, or “what does 1K mean?” I travel to different airports each week, and the TSA has different rules for each airport. Even if you travel frequently, the TSA can be stressful and frustrating. Here is my story of going through the TSA and why communication between the TSA and passengers can become the question of who is the A-hole.

I wish I had read this passage from Ryan Holiday and Stephen Hanselman’s The Daily Stoic. I might have received a different response from several TSA officers.

“When you first rise in the morning tell yourself: I will encounter busybodies, ingrates, egomaniacs, liars, the jealous and cranks. They are all stricken with these afflictions because they don’t know the difference between good and evil. Because I have understood the beauty of good and the ugliness of evil, I know these wrong-doers are still akin to me… and that none can do me harm, or implicate me in ugliness-nor can I be angry at my relatives or hate them. For we are made of cooperation.”

Marcus Aurelius, MEDITATIONS, 2.1

My interpretation of the writing is that I should not have lost my mind when the agents were doing their job, and I let them get to me. Does that make sense to you?

The story goes like this: I was at the Seattle airport going through TSA. I used TSA Pre-Check and Clear to get through security. I have paid for these luxuries and had a background check. Are you with me so far?

After getting screened by the CLEAR agent, I showed my boarding pass on my phone to the TSA agent and then headed to have my suitcase and backpack placed on the conveyor belt to get screened. Well, here is where the communication broke down. The officer who looked at my boarding pass stated, “I did not need to take off my shoes.” So I thought that is what they said. We now start the comedy of errors.

My routine is the same at any airport. Before placing my suitcase and backpack on the conveyor belt, I put my wallet and phone in my backpack. I walk through the machine, wait for my stuff to get screened, finally retrieve it, and head to the gate. However, what I thought the officer said, and what my monkey mind heard, my routine was stopped in its tracks.

I was ready to walk through the machine when a TSA officer told me to remove my shoes. Can I rant for a moment here? Why are we still taking our shoes off? Come on, we should be through this process by now. Okay, I digress. I tried telling the officer I was TSA Pre-Check and did not need to remove my shoes. The officer said, “Where is your Orange card?” to indicate that I was Pre-Check. I said, “I did not receive one.” The officer then said I had to remove my shoes, and I did. My backpack was still sitting on the belt in a bin, so I placed my shoes in the bin. That turned out to be another mistake.

As the bin with my backpack and shoes went through the screening, one of my shoes fell out and jammed the machine. Apparently, I was the only one who found this funny as an officer raised their voice to say I was delaying the process. Oh, it gets better.

My backpack had to undergo additional screening. Why? Well, I failed to take my laptop out. Again, I plead my case to the TSA officer, saying I was PRE-CHECK! The officer took my backpack, shoes, and laptop to have them sent back for screening. While standing and waiting for my stuff, a TSA officer approached me to ask if I had a problem. Deep down, I wanted to explain how the lack of communication created the tension and that, in my view, the officer who did not find my shoe jamming issue had zero sense of humility. Instead, I said, “No, sir; I am waiting to collect my luggage.” Tail between my legs moment.

I thought Karma was going to be on my side. While waiting to be screened from CLEAR, I saw a mom with her two teenage daughters in front of me. The mom asked if either had tissue as she felt a possible nosebleed. Neither had any, but guess who did? I handed the mom a travel pack of tissues, and that was that. Karma must have had the day off.

Here is the thing: I know better. I go through TSA every week. I let my emotions get the best of me. What else did I learn?

1. The message from Marcus Aurelius works both ways. TSA officers regularly deal with A-holes, and I need to remind myself that I do not want to be one of them. Before leaving for the airport, I will look in the mirror and decide who I want to be that day.
2. I let my emotions get the best of me. The work day, which was supposed to be quick and easy training, was the opposite. My colleague and I stopped to grab coffee. The coffee barista mentioned that he hoped we would have a short workday. The dude jinxed us. Instead of thinking we would have plenty of time to get to the airport, including putting gas in the rental car, we were in scramble mode.
3. There is a restaurant in the airport where I wanted to sit for a glass of vino and a snack. However, the timing did not work, which slightly upset me.
4. My ego got in the way. I felt like the guy in the “Lethal Weapon” movie yelling “DIPLOMATIC IMUNITY.” In my case, my phrase was “PRE-CHECK!”
5. Two words: “life choices.” I am not living my purpose. Having to travel for a day without feeling that I am making a difference bothers me. Being told to take off my shoes reminded me how much I hate being told what to do and where to travel. The situation became a perfect storm.

Please heed my warning for your next trip to the airport. Do your best, and do not let miscommunication drive ugliness and ruin your trip. Karma may be on your side, but as it turned out, it was on mine. I did get bumped up to first class, and yes, I enjoyed some vino and a meal.