Leadership In Action

6 min readAug 14, 2023

This post was originally written in February of 2021 as my son Connor was ending his youth hockey career before heading to College. Tomorrow he is packing up his car and going back to College.

December of 2022. Connor in Vegas with his JR hockey team.

Connor has been a silent leader. Several times he was selected on his hockey teams as either a captain or alternate. Did he get this from being forced to listen to “Success Magazine” CDs as a young man? Maybe.

I am in awe of how he can challenge himself and not worry about failure. Many adults need to remember that failing is not the end result. It is part of the learning experience. Connor has had his ups and downs regarding his hockey seasons. From my vantage point, he is a battler, not living in the past. Again a lesson I need to take to heart.

The article you will read is about a time when I saw Connor in a different light. He was transitioning into not just a leader in his own right but an adult. Connor can be funny, but he also has this calming effect when you are in his environment. The game that deals with the piece showcases when our kids amaze us right in front of our eyes when as a parent, we are not expecting it.

I do not know what the future holds for your kids, but for me, I am excited to be on the sideline and get to watch what Connor will achieve as he heads to College and continue his hockey journey. Undoubtedly, he will define success on his own terms, be it in the classroom or on the ice. I can not predict the future with Connor, but I have witnessed his leadership in action, which will be my indicator.

For the next couple of days, I will be a nervous dad waiting to hear he made it safely to his destination. He has a two-day drive, and I want to be in the passenger seat. Roles reversed when he and I drove to his hockey practices and games. I might be speculating here, but one of you might understand how I am feeling. All I know is I’d better get at least a text to tell me he made it because that is what a leader will do.

Without further ado, here is the article from February 2021. I hope you enjoy the piece.

Leadership in Action

The photo is from a recent hockey tournament. The group is getting ready for the puck to drop going into overtime. The game is in the semifinals, and who called the huddle? My son (he is the goalie)!

You do not need to be a CEO, a manager, or have a title when it comes to being in leadership. My son is on the cusp of turning 18. This team he is pictured with is what in youth sports is called a “house” team. Essentially meaning they do not travel out of state to play games. My son, Connor, took it upon himself to decide to get his teammates together. What was his motivation?

A leader recognizes when to inspire others. A leader sees when to take opportunities to share their vision. A leader leads by example.

Connor is a goalie, which means he puts his body in harm’s way so the other team does not score goals. Where did he learn his leadership skills? Well, I will admit he has a great group of coaches this season. However, I could argue that it could be my Jedi Mind Trick.

On Friday, I would pick Connor up for the weekend. On Sunday, I would take him back to his mom’s. In the CD player (do you have one of those?), there would be CDs from Success Magazine. On those rides to and from, Connor would hear interviews from leaders. Yes, Connor was young, but this was the perfect time to let his mind hear positive messages.

When I spoke at a TEDx event, he was in the audience. Has Connor been to a Toastmasters meeting? You know he has. Are you picking up a pattern?

Influence is a powerful tool. Connor has had great teachers in his life. As I mentioned, he has a wonderful group of coaches this season.

Let’s go back to the question of what was his motivation for the huddle. Not only was this the last tournament for Connor, but there are a few others on his team who are Seniors in high school, and for possibly some of them, this was their last tournament as well. Connor is a team-first kid; he wants the win for his team.

When I took that picture, it was a proud dad moment. I was so overwhelmed that I had to hide my tears. Oh, and I am crying as I am writing this. As a parent, you hope you raise your kids right when you see it in action; WOW!

I want to tell you that there was a happy ending. Um, I would like to, but, well.

In the semifinals, the game went to a shootout. Connor did stop every shooter he faced. The team won and went to the Championship. However…

You can see both on the banner and most of the faces (including Connor’s) that they could not achieve their desired results. No matter what, I witnessed a leader in action. His name is Connor.

Tommy Maloney is the Executive producer and host of the podcast Blending The Family, where you can find Apple Podcasts, Iheart Radio, Spotify, and Stitcher Radio.

Tommy has spoken at TEDx Loveland, Ignite Fort Collins, and was a Keynote Speaker at Everything Dad Convention. He even has won speaking awards through Toastmasters International.

The author of the book “25 Tips For Divorced Dads.” “Why not you, Why Not Me” and His new book, “My Dad’s Advice At 5:04 AM,”. He has written for magazines: The Good Men Project, Modern Gladiator, and Nurture Magazine. Plus, he is a writing contributor to The Greeley Tribune.

Tommy enjoys a good red blend while writing or hiding from the family. A dad to Betsy, Becca, Connor, and Duke (RIP), Otis. A husband to Ann